I couldn’t believe it. I mean I knew what I was in for but I am guessing that being much much older than the last time I ventured out into the malls on Boxing Day, the memory was simply not as fresh.
You see, I am not your typical girl in the sense that I absolutely without a doubt in my mind, hate shopping and ‘going to the mall’. Don’t get me wrong. I love a good sale when there is something I need. But to just go and linger or shop just for the sake of spending money? Nah. Not for me. (Besides, I have yet to find my sugar daddy – it hurts to spend my hard earned money.)
Now I am not sure if having experienced bankruptcy is the originating cause of the anxiety that builds inside me when I go into a mall or what. All I know is that normally, even if I have something I need to buy, the tops amount of time I can last inside a mall is 30 minutes – 45 if I get lost gazing in a shoe store. Not even lipstick can hold me inside for long.
This Boxing Day, my mini-me being old enough (and I’m guessing it’s a teenager thing) – loves hanging out at the mall with her girlfriends. This year she has been driving me crazy with the whole ‘wanting to experience Boxing Day sales in person and why do I never take her’. **cue in me rolling eyes – she isn’t lacking in anything, I assure you of that**
Me being one who attempts at all costs to make as many memories with my daughter and make each and every outing some form of an adventure – I don on my big girl boots and off we go.
To Vaughan Mills. An hour away. On Boxing Day.
Three hours in and barely a quarter a way through the mall, I find myself sitting in a corner on the floor of Victoria Secret rocking back and forth trying to find a way to calm my anxiety. There is a circular table in the middle and about 40 wild-eyed crazy-haired teenagers all grabbing at the pretty undies. 7 pairs for $29!! It was a mad frenzy. Quick!! Someone please help me!!!
**cue in Facebook posts – because you know someone has to be online**
I must have had the look of a caged animal, fear in my eyes, huddling deeper into the drawers with piles of bra straps falling out of them. Can no one put things back where they found them?!?
My beautiful mini-me finds me on the floor and sits with me. Asks me if I am having fun? How do I tell her I just want to run out screaming? You know I can’t, she needs to experience this on her terms, not mine. So I say ‘yes, of course I am’.
‘Mama, you can get some too! Do you want me to pick some out for you?’
I look at the line up and think….no thank you, I’ll go commando.
I do however spot from a distance, yes, you guessed it….a sports bra!! Jiu Jitsu to the rescue!!
I get up, go check it out. Perfect. I’ll get it – if anything, I need a decent one to hold in my lady mounds that keep popping out during training plus right now, more than anything, I need to get a control of my anxiety in this craziness.
As the hours crawl and the smile on my baby’s face gets bigger….the stress in mine is
Thank you Irene for the picture.
starting to cause wrinkles. Person after person bouncing themselves against me. Line up after lineup and I am ready to throw water and soap at neighbouring humans. People!! For the love of that is good and kind!! Deodorant!! Please wear it!! Lots and lots of it!! Ugh!!
We are now finished making one full circle of the mall. 5 hours later. We pass a sports store where my mini-minion is still looking out for me, says ‘Mom, do you want to go in there to find anything you need for Jiu Jitsu?’
God bless her. I had been walking through these hallways wanting to just lose my shite everytime someone rammed me with their buggies using their young children as a means to clear a path. Each time I felt the urge to scream, I would focus on the definition of Jiu Jitsu. It starts to change your attitude and outlook in life.
I see people differently now. Like they are all from the walking dead show – aimlessly wandering through life. So I focused on keeping my cool, relaxing and remembering that above all else, I am a classy woman who is now a white belt and have certain expectations of me.
Home now – the exit strategy out of the mall was successfully executed. No small fuzzy cute plush animals were hurt in the process.
Seems I always have Jiu Jitsu on my mind these days. Whether it’s what is the next drill I
should study, is there a cool female-oriented blog or just plain watching through my Facebook feed at groups that I have joined and what they have got to say.
I found an awesome blog, BJJGrrrl, she is based out of Virginia.
This video of these two little boys was super cute to watch. I even felt my excitement rise for them and actually recognized an open guard, an arm lock and one other move with his leg but I don’t know what it is called.
Search Emily Kwok on YouTube – great learning videos on different techniques when grappling larger opponents.
5th Dimension Academy is having an open mat from 5-7pm today – open to all schools.
It’s time to venture out and see how other schools do their thing. I read that as a woman, I need to find more BJJ women…that this is a sisterhood like no other. Can’t wait to meet them!
PREV: Blogging: Why? Good question… NEXT: 5th Dimension…extending my comfort zone