First you have to get healthy…

“First you have to get rid of that uterus and be healthy. You can’t train if you’re not well and in pain.”   An actual text from my dearest friend. xox26754430_10213239753242929_1728523955_n

During this most emotionally trying time where I can’t train properly in Jiu Jitsu because this old body of mine is finally rejecting my uterus, my girlfriends help lift my spirits.

Gentlemen, you have NO idea how lucky you have it.  Us gals, we fight with our reproductive system from a very early age, some of us as early as 9 years old.  We get this thing called our period/time of the month/bleeds …whatever you call it, at that young of an age, it sucks and its embarrassing.  For some lucky gals, it’s painless, most feel something at some point in time or another.

Then we move on to our baby making years, some of our uterus’ can punt out 3-4 or more babies, sometimes they come out in duplicates and triplicates, some of us only one and some none which is really sad if your ‘clock’ is ticking and you really want that baby.  I waited until I was 35 to have my baby and all I can say is that I know exactly how loud the sound of that ticking can get.

Along comes child birth and all I can say is….wtf?!?  In case you’re wondering, watch this if you haven’t had children, it does a good job at explaining the definition of w-t-f?.

Seriously? What is it that woman-kind did to y’all?  There is absolutely nothing that compares to the pain of this function.  Let’s just jam a fertilized seed inside our tiny uterus, let it grow for 40+ weeks (what seems like a lifetime of wtf’s) – honestly, I love my baby girl but being 5′ 1″ and pregnant with swollen ankles carrying a child that came out the size of a two year old ….wasn’t fun as I waddled my way from room to room.  Walking wasn’t an option, neither was the c-section at the end.

Fast forward a decade or two, maybe even three, depending on when you closed your baby factory.  You pretty much forget about the uterus after this stage especially if you have had your tubes tied.  You thank your uterus for providing the incubation tank for your child to cook in and it shouldn’t be a bother anymore.  Right?

Wrong!!

uterus3Cue in menopause!! A woman’s ‘change in life’ which is supposedly natural but let me tell you, there is nothing natural with having your body begin to reject the very thing that provides life.

This time is a great big W-T-F?!?

There is simply no other way to define it. I think I have finally reached a point that I can coast through the hot flashes without wanting to vomit.  It is remotely possible that Jiu Jitsu helps me control the hair trigger effect (could just be me thinking that though) that makes me want to rip someone’s head off for the slightest of reasons.  What I can not seem to wrap my head around is fibroids.

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1 in 3 women develop Fibroids which are non-cancerous tumours (nobody really knows why either) and according to male gynecologists – not a big deal?  Seriously?

 

uterus2

 

 

All we have to do to fix this is wait until I’m fully in menopause?  SMH

 

 

For some ladies, this beautiful (<– sarcasm) fibroid grows into an object the size of a football, moving around her organs and putting so much pressure on her body she begins to question if this would be a good time to consider gender change surgery.

For other ladies, yes, there are the bleeders – tiny ones that like to break the uterine wall causing the kind of pain that makes child birth look like a walk in the park.  I have had the displeasure of undergoing 5 major abdominal surgeries – trust me when I say, please pass me the morphine, this fibroid hurts like hell.

What does any of this have to do with Jiu Jitsu?  Everything.

I am in constant pain, it never shuts off.  I read that exercise helps dull the pain.  I also read that the fibroid could rupture, so knee-on-belly, front rolls and break falls/sweeps….could end up in a scene from Carrie the horror movieespecially since we wear white Gis at my academy.

My fellow teammates who know about my condition are really good at helping me with practicing my drills and I don’t keep getting asked if I am ok while I sit on the sidelines – which for the most part I feel embarrassment that I train so poorly but I’m quite glad that no one asks anymore.  I hate having to say no to each person that asks me to roll – especially when I am honoured they want to – I simply don’t want them to be that one person that bumps me the wrong way.  I would feel terrible.

I am ok, I will survive this but truth is, as much as I want this hysterectomy done sooner than later, being forced into one on the mat is not something I look forward to.

26732711_10213241890816367_230226080_oJiu Jitsu is still my happy place and I have an empathetic professor that whether he understands what I am going through or not, he understands the healing properties of the mat.  He lets me be the judge of what I do in warm ups or not.  I sit on the sidelines, sometimes I am lucky enough to get through the drills and when it comes time to spar, if I am feeling strong enough, I will practice the technique of the day with one or two of the ladies…otherwise, I watch and learn.

A year later, (plus two stripes!) it still fascinates me to watch my team mates spar and see if I can identify the moves while they are doing it.  In the meantime, they let me photograph the odd seminar, I stay in touch with the female BJJ community best I can from a distance, take lots of ibuprofen and rest when it hurts too much.  Maybe write a blog post or two.

unterus1

I’m finally at a point in my life that I have my shyte together in my head…but my body….well, I guess it is time to gracefully enter my next stage in life.  I won’t take it laying down though, I plan to get stronger after my surgery and keep my eye on that purple belt.  I’d say black but I could be 90 years old by then.  Purple might be doable by my late 70s or early 80s.

 

Did I mention that the medication I am on to help shrink this wondrous fibroid has made me alcohol-intolerant…..AND has forced me to give up ice cream along with all dairy?

thankyoubjj

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