In the summer a worker bee only lives for about 40 days. (based on a Google search). This is how long I thought I would last in the world of Jiu Jitsu and my writing, well, I wasn’t sure where that was headed at all. Its been 6 months and I love Jiu Jitsu more and more every day. The writing takes a little more effort and needs more free time than I have had lately.
I am still involved with the mat in one capacity or another although I haven’t trained much since my body decided to let me know that there is a foreign substance growing in my uterus with a Bang! Pow! Ka-pling!
It couldn’t let me know slowly. Noooo…. it has to plow right through me causing me such tremendous pain that I could barely breathe, let alone grapple. I thank my lucky stars though, the biopsy came back benign. Phew!
I am very grateful to my fellow grapplers who knew about this and helped me distract my mind by letting me practice my photography skills at their tournament and in class (thank you Pura!). Also the giggles I endured while I watched them practice the new moves taught in class gave me even just a few minutes of reprieve.
After 8 weeks of being off the mat and taking pills that are pretty much making a hole in my stomach in hopes of shrinking the tumor ( I can only take a 3-month supply in a lifetime…imagine), I have decided that I am going to brave going back into the sharktank this week. Even if it just to do light stretching and resting when things hurt.
Don’t give up..just keep working through it all. If it doesn’t kill you, it will make you stronger. I know my mates will be careful with me, they have been so far.
Where have I been in the meantime?
Learning about fibroids, for one, and how freaking painful they can be – now I understand why my belly keeps growing. I had to get a new belt because I thought I had shrunk my first belt or was just plain getting fat!
As women, I simply cannot get over what we (collectively) go through. To bear children, to move on to next stages in life – and still fight hard to be independent, hard working, want to compete but can’t because our reproductive system has such tremendous control of our bodies.
Gentlemen, I beg you, be kind to your ladies. They go through a lot with their bodies. Be patient with the hormone shifts, the monthly contractions are real and don’t just happen when we are delivering a child. We simply ‘suck it up’ and ignore them until we can’t. Then we need the warm compress, chocolate and ice cream to make us feel better. A hug from you would be nice too…or like one of my Pura brothers offered, his cheek to punch in the face as he saw me breathe through a particularly nasty contraction..
That made me chuckle…
Where am I now?
Photography. That is my current drug of choice. I am an amateur photographer, I like capturing moments in time – people’s emotions, either on their faces or through seeing earth’s beauty. I also run the school yearbook, so photography has become something that I strive to learn to perfect and in turn, teach my students to produce captivating images that make others gasp.
Taking a step out of my norm, I’ve decided to put into practice what I have learned in regards to sports photography and incorporate it with Jiu Jitsu. Many of you have seen my work already. As for others, I have since learned that I need to watermark my photos before publishing them publicly. Plus, I currently do not have permission for public posting, so out of respect to my fellow grapplers…those images are currently private to a small group only. Once I get that permission, I will show it off. I promise.
Here is a small sampling of my photography. (Thank you Joel, owner of Sweet Sweat Canada for letting me post your image)
Where do I wish to be?
I wish to be tumor-free for starters. It has really put a kink in my lifestyle.
Competition ready. I would like to prepare to compete next spring. It is a bit of a big deal for me – another stepping stone in my evolution. My fellow grapplers have already said they would help prepare me.
But most of all, I wish to be where I was 8 weeks ago…full of fire and spice for wanting to be on the mat as opposed to be being scared to step back on it.
2 steps forward, 7 steps backwards – this is how I feel right now.
It is ok though, prognosis could have been A LOT worse, for that I am very thankful.
Yes, this scared the crap out of me….I can’t even imagine how scared my mom was when she found out her’s was malignant. #cancerblows
For now, I am happy to be part of my Pura family – together we are definitely stronger. Thank you for letting me part of it.