Am I a Masochist?!

f62006bd77eb6d98b47f79aed70efa86Over the years I have worn casts and splints, had my share of bumps and bruises, tears and bandaids.  Having mommy or daddy kiss my ouchies away – well, isn’t that the best medicine ever!!

Fast forward into adulthood and childbirth, a difficult one I might add, months in the hospitals.  Enough morphine coursing through my veins to keep a small army troupe smiling for a year. ( I miss the peacefulness of that morphine sometimes …)

Surgery after surgery…then rehabilitation to relearn how to walk and stand.. (My miracle baby was worth it all though)


Years of personal trainers to teach me how to strengthen all the muscles that were cut into in order to keep me alive. (I am really hard to kill off!)

I am not new to pain.

Tough Mudder 2015 had me experiencing a level of muscle pain like I have never experienced! ( I trained for it, obviously not enough since I couldn’t walk for a week!)

The general rule is whatever doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger.  Right?

Usually it only takes a few days of muscle soreness and I am re-energized to work out again.  2693-700x0

Until Jiu Jitsu …..

What is it with this never ending body pain?!!

At first, being in the honeymoon phase, I embraced the sore muscles, the toenail cuts and loved my bruises.

Now, I ache all the time.  To the point I’m even embarrassed to say anything to my instructors because I don’t want to be viewed as a whiny baby.

Truth is….I am not 29 anymore.funold

Shoulder Impingement Treatment.

Wrist inflammation.

Knuckle and joint swelling.

These are all new terms for me.

All ….demoralizing…  Am I truly too old for this?!  I am near tears thinking that I didn’t even make it to my first stripe and I am scared sh**tless to get back on the mat.  I’ll even admit that I skipped my last class due to this fear.

Reaching out to the ‘40 Plus BJJ Engage‘ facebook group;  I asked them about their first injury and how did it affect them regarding continuing rolling on the mats.

Hearing about some of their injuries makes me want to run in the opposite direction.  (A friend of mine -also a white belt, recently had his ankle shattered practicing a drill with another white belt – in a cast for 8 weeks!!)

What I noticed was the trend that was occurring throughout the answers.

None of them give up!

All of them have experienced the same feelings of defeat I am currently experiencing.  I am not alone.  One lady provided additional female support.  One gentleman provided this image.


The Gracie family has provided yet more inspiring videos

– Surviving the First 6 Months of Sparring (Gracie Breakdown)

Top 5 Jiu Jitsu Injuries (& how to roll with them)

Am I a masochist?

It’s very possible.physiotherapy

I’ve just agreed to a 10K run in May, in addition to committing to twice a week yoga sessions to help out a friend obtain his Yoga Instructor certification and heading back onto the Jiu Jitsu mat to learn ways to roll without further injuring myself.

In the meantime, I’m off to physio ….

PREV:  Sharing is Caring                          NEXT: Head and Shoulder, Knees and Toes…


Mi casa es su casa.
My BJJ Education
The little engine that could…
My Photography
Mom’s Recipes – Recreated with Love

1 thought on “Am I a Masochist?!

  1. Helen Valenzuela

    Yolanda, I think you have to ask yourself. Do you have time to be laid up with a cast? Do you really want to injure yourself now? Maybe yoga, even hot yoga, is a safer activity for you. I know you are looking for fitness…and a challenge. We know you are strong. You don’t have to prove anything to us. I encourage you to reassess the “pros and cons” of jiujitsu…..Ultimately, you know the answer.



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