Hot flashes and this girl’s Gi

What can I say here?  I come from a very traditional old-style upbringing where anything that was ‘lady-part’ related was simply never discussed.  I couldn’t even tell my mom that we needed ‘supplies’ in front of my father because he would get so disgusted at my deplorable decorum.

Now that Mom has passed away, I can’t even ask her what it felt like for her as I am moving into my next stage in life, so I ask my friends.  They all tell me I am too young for symptoms yet but I can guarantee you, without a doubt in my mind…..I am most definitely experiencing….the hot flashes.  Holy cripes!!

They come out of nowhere and for no reason.  Always at the most inopportune moments, like if a handsome man helps me with my Jiu Jitsu belt (thanks Coach Joel) or another happens to simply look in my direction as I am backward rolling.  Oi vey!  It feels like I’m going to spontaneously combust!!  Yet again….so much for my poker face.

Now I find myself inside the Jiu Jitsu studio, where as you get to the top floor, you can already feel the heat radiating from all the sweaty men inside.  You know its going to be hot.  I run into the change room and put on my Gi.  I’m good for a couple of minutes until I walk out onto the mat.

Coach Greg says in his always cheery disposition… ‘Alright everyone, time to warm up! Jog around the mat.  Knees up! Jog. Ankles up! Jog. Touch the floor 20 times! Jog. Front rolls (these scare me so i don’t do them yet), back rolls…..’ …..you get the point.

Now not only am I getting warmed up….but doesn’t a dreaded hot flash decide to kick in!!!!!

Wait!  Repreve!!  One of the windows is open!!!!  I stand in front of it as Coach Greg decides that he’s going to close the window!!!  IS HE CRAZY?!?!?! HAS HE LOST HIS MIND??!!??!

Coach Greg: ‘I’m going to close the window.  It’s best to roll when it’s warm.’

Me:  DON’T YOU DARE TOUCH THAT WINDOW!!!  ***cue in Medusa and spinning head on my part.***  UNTIL YOU EXPERIENCE A HOT FLASH, YOU DO NOT DECIDE WHEN TO CLOSE THAT WINDOW!!

Coach Greg:  ***Hands in the air conceding defeat***

Me: **opens my Gi, lets the freezing cold air run over my body until I become human again…and goes back to jogging smiling***

white-flag-of-surrender

Dear coaches and fellow Jiujiteiros…I apologize if …no, when these moments arise.  They are out of my control.  I don’t use it as an excuse, just bear with me…if all of a sudden I strip out of my Gi and jump in front of an open window or push you out of the way of the fans….just be patient, it will be over soon and we can all act as if nothing happened.

I’m told by a few beautiful ladies that exercise helps the symptoms.  These days more women embrace this natural evolution of life.  We don’t hide in our homes.  We beautify. We exercise.  And some of us venture way, way, way out of our comfort zones and join Jiu Jitsu.

Menopause….I dare you to make a mockery of me..  I am a white belt now!!

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